This Holiday: The Other Side of Celebration & Relationship

It’s the holiday season, and for millions, it is both a joyous celebration and a reminder of things lost: financial security, loved ones, jobs, homes, hopes, dreams and innocence. This season, like no other in recent history, grips the hearts of many with a sorrow carried on the winds of change.

There is another way though…to follow a road less traveled this Season, This road will get you to the other side of loss.  I know because I am no stranger to that road. For good or bad, I have traveled it many times. What lies at the destination is nothing less than a new landscape and a new beginning. It is inevitable that spring follows winter. That is a cause for celebration.  

What does this have to do with relationship?  Everything!  It requires that you truthfully relate to your own self: your hurts, angers, resentments, longings and loss.  It requires that you acknowledge what you are experiencing to yourself and others. Not easy, given that we are taught to suck it up, move on, take tranquilizers, and swallow both our emotions and the well meaning platitudes that “He or she is in a better place,” or “You’ll find a better job,” and other comments that say more about the other person’s fear than your loss.  That’s human nature.

The price of loving is loss.  Sometimes we give our all to a cause, a person, a job or our calling. Sometimes there are no happy endings, except as we rewrite them. Grief and loss are by-products of life. They are not to be feared, but merely faced as they arise.

Ironically, when we hone the skill of self-reflection, observation and intuition, we learn to by-pass those roads that lead directly to grief.  Sometimes, unnecessary grief arises simply because we have not listened to our inner council. We compound that by putting our grief in the closet and pretending it doesn’t exist. Even that can be cause for celebration when we learn the pitfalls of ignoring our own heart and wisdom.

I offer these observations to you, knowing there is cause for celebration in the midst of uncertainty and loss. Perhaps the gift you give this season is that of allowing you to experience whatever is present as it appears.  Let your thoughts, feelings and emotions be cause for celebration. They are the signposts on the road less traveled. To celebrate means “to make known or famous.” Celebrate your life and the adventure of relationship. Breathe, stop and honor your life and your loss as you prepare the soil for something new.  That is the miracle of relation and celebration.

You are the gift. Choose to take the road less traveled, and leave loss by the wayside. Develop a great relationship witn yourself regardless of the season and you will soon be ready to love again, begin again and risk again. Walk your road one step at a time and a new season of celebration will arrive.