It’s been a long time since I wrote anything, although I’ve had lots of topics in mind. My dear cat Nubie (Nubs for short) passed away two weeks ago after a long illness….most of my time was spent sitting with him every chance I got. Work took a back seat whenever possible, so that I could be present during his journey. What a ride it was! He taught me more about love than I can say in a blog. But here’s a few highlights:
1. Why celebrate loving one day a year? Make time for your loved ones now. Nubie was petted, combed, played with and adored every day. On special occasions he got catnip. That’s a great way to keep a relationship healthy. He wasn’t afraid to wake me up with a paw under the covers to let me know he needed something (usually food). He also cuddled and knew when I was upset. That’s a great thing for two-legged relationships as well. Pay attention to your loved ones while you have them. Keep your relationship alive with appreciation, good food, laughter and some special treats. I didn’t wait for him to get sick before he knew he was loved. Our relationship changed when he got ill, and our loving deepened. We had a strong foundation of trust, built on years of understanding, loving, caring and sharing.
2. Sometimes loving appears to hurt. Watching my cat decline physically left me feeling helpless. Thank goodness I was bi-lingual and could understand cat. He too, could understand human. Love allowed us to communicate just fine. Men and women sometimes speak different languages. Love allows us to intuitively understand each other, if we take the time to listen. Sometimes all our loved one needs is the space to be heard, held and acknowledged. Sometimes they need time alone. Don’t take things so personally. Those things go a long way toward building a successful relationship. So does a genuine “I’m sorry.”
3. Loving someone means accepting everything, including death. I was honored to be part of my cat’s process. As his body grew weaker, his Spirit grew stronger and his messages to me, his beloved human, grew stronger as well. Loving made it easy for me to tend to him during his last days, and he died at home, loved, accepted and cherished, in spite of his appearance (it was pretty tacky.)
4. Love is contagious. Mr. Nubs touched so many people during his life that our friends called frequently to say hello and tell him it was “okay to go.” I put the phone to his ears and he’d perk up when he heard their voices. His favorite neighbor, whom he referred to as “The big guy over there” came regularly to visit, as did the big guy’s wife. Countless people were touched as Nubs completed his mission – to love people and encourage them to open their heart in return. He was a healer cat, and he had a following. Let loving be the healer and you’ll have a following too. Practice making loving your default response, and you’ll be in good shape, no matter the shape you’re in.
5. Nubie taught me the value of sitting in the silence with him. He’d curl up on my lap and we’d meditate together. We also watched movies for hours on end, since his pain was less when he was held. It’s the same for people. Don’t be afraid of the silence, it’s a container for loving. Don’t be afraid of pain either.
6. Nubs was a great mirror. During his illness, he kept showing me things about myself. What a master teacher he was. In the end, he taught me to be free. What a gift to give to the one you love. It was a hard journey for both of us, but he’s free and so am I. Free to celebrate our life together, and free to choose to love again.
7. Because your loved ones may go away does mean that love ends. Love lives in my heart, and gratitude for the loving expression that was lent to me in the form of my cat lives on in me. I won’t rush to replace Nubie. He’s irreplaceable. There will never be another Nubs. Yet, when loving calls again, I will answer, and be the richer for it.
