There’s no doubt that Steve Jobs was an original. He refused to compromise on his vision, and our world is forever changed. He defied the “normal” and moved toward the “natural” - a state of cooperation with his inner driving force. He was unapologetic for his relentless commitment to excellence. Following that inner muse moved him far beyond the status quo.
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Nov 1, 2011
Unreasonable Expectations
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Sep 30, 2011
Breaking the Chains of Negativity
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Do you find yourself annoyed when others are negative? Here’s a great way to look in the mirror and unmask your naysayer once and for all! Ironically, when you point that finger at another, three point back at you!
Take the Paper Clip Challenge:
Get a box of paperclips and keep it handy. Every time you catch yourself having an old fashioned negative thought, “I’m too fat, too thin, too old, stupid, lazy, etc. take a paperclip out and start connecting them together. It’s an easy fun way to see how how fast you put yourself in “negative bondage.”
I did this experiment with senior management of a large corporation during a strategic retreat. During one 15 minute break, each of the executives was given their box and asked to be totally honest about their thoughts. Several came back with all 100 draped around their necks and amazed looks on their faces. One gentleman said, “I thought I was one of the most positive people I know.” “Not so,” he said with a smile.
It’s hard to be happy, joyful or prosperous when you are weighed down with the chains of negativity. The first step in releasing them is to catch yourself in the act.
You’ll be amazed at how many negative conversations you have inside your head! The paperclip visual becomes a great starting point and reality check for your negativity levels. Once you’ve caught yourself in the act, congratulate yourself. Awareness is a HUGE key to positive change.
Once you’ve had some fun with the negative, you can do the same exercise to catch yourself in the act of thinking something positive. Positive focus will help you build the habit of looking on the bright side, no matter how dark it seems.
The key in both these challenges is one of directing your mind. True leaders are flexible. They have the ability to course correct with accurate information and the willingness to take risks.
Here’s a great chance to take a stand for yourself and Lead by Design℠ rather than default!
Good luck, and keep me posted!
Jul 26, 2011
A Way to End the Cycle of Domestic Violence
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This is in response to an article I read today called Children and Abuse at www.healwithin.com that talked about the difficulties that children of abuse face as a result of domestic violence.
Domestic violence (DV) crosses all socio-economic boundaries. Its impact is felt economically, emotionally, physically, mentally and spirituality. Violence in the family leads to violence in the world. Violence in the family gives rise to dysfunctional organizations where the family dynamic is repeated. To heal our society, we must begin to heal the self. When one suffers, we all suffer. When one person heals, the cycle is interrupted.
It is possible to break the cycle of domestic violence. As a volunteer for more than a decade at A Window Between Worlds, (www.awbw.org), I have seen first hand the impact of art on healing the past and creating space for a future. I thank AWBW for their ground breaking work, and for the caring that touches so many lives.
All of us are touched by domestic violence ( DV) or trauma in some way. Healing is a process, and for 20 years, AWBW has provided free art leader training and art supplies to
DV programs. Last year 60,000 participants in 25 states were helped to speak the unspeakable through the creative arts. AWBW programs are art for healing, not art therapy.
Even a single workshop can have a life-changing impact, helping survivors young and old find a sense of safety, connection, and vision for a violence free future. Although 63% of boys age 11 – 20 who commit murder kill the man abusing their mother, there is a positive path through trauma.
What children do with that they have witnessed is critical. One 7-year-old boy witnessed a lot of violence in a short time. When he came to the shelter was violent and angry. After a particularly violent outburst, a shelter leader had him do the “Monster in Me” art project. When he was finished, he saw that his monster had no ears. The boy said that since his monster couldn’t hear, he didn’t know he was yelling. The child had a complete turn around when he put a face on his anger, and a better understanding of his feelings. He then became a mentor to the new kids and encouraged him to share their feelings as well. Today he has left the shelter and both his teachers and mom say he is able to express his feelings in a healthier way. A single workshop opened the door for a healthy relationship with himself.
Thanks to Lisa Boubari and her staff for their wonderful vision and commitment to bringing prevention and natural approaches to health and well being. Victims of domestic violence spend years being invisible. Thanks to A Window Between Worlds, and the many other organizations who are bringing hope to those in time of need.
If you, or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, there are many organizations that are willing to help. If you would like to help AWBW, please visit their website at www.awbw.org
“Listen to your heart, and let it speak it’s truth. In that truth is the seed for change.” I invite you to become part of the change. If you or someone you know has dealt with domestic violence, it is possible to grow, learn and embrace the beauty of life and who you are. All you need is to to take that first step.
Jul 24, 2011
How to Turn Stuck Moments into Successful Momentum
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Magic moment are the flip side of feeling stuck. Everything lines up, you’re in the flow and there’s no doubt that you’ll succeed. The more attention you pay to your body, mind, emotions and spirit, the easier it will be to handle stress when it comes knocking at your door.
Some days the stuck gremlin wins. Spend some time getting familiar what triggers your stuck monster. Experience is the best teacher. Let your gremlin show you how to disarm it. Turn stuckness into successful momentum with the following tips:
Don’t judge the situation! Get curious. Examine your body, emotions, thoughts and your interpretation of what is happening to you. Look at your body/mind/emotions/spirit as your inner team. Spend time in honest communication with yourself. This is the essence of the “inner game” that aligns and powers up your confidence.
Physically: Identify one thing that you’ve been putting off. Begin taking action. Get busy and clear away the old. Clean out your closet, apply for a job, just get physical. The more you release physical energy, the more likely it is for something new to arrive. Every small completion opens the door for more energy and clarity to fill the empty space.
Emotionally: Identify the fears, fantasies and feelings that stop you before you get started. Breathe. The three “F’s” have one job: To protect you. That’s wonderful. However, often they are protecting you from something deeply buried. Many of my clients often hold an unconscious interpretation of life taken from past experience. Once identified, it loses it power to keep you stuck.
Are you resisting? Feel paralyzed, unable to take action? Chances are your protective mechanism is in full swing! Take small actions and continue moving forward. How? Recognize that feelings are not facts. They are thoughts felt physiologically in the body. Focus on loving yourself with every step you take. Allow yourself to just sit with your feelings. This isn’t always easy! That’s why when we are upset, we distract ourselves with relationships, spending, eating or drinking too much.
Mentally: Observe what your mind is saying. The mind says lots of things, many of which have nothing to do with current reality. In fact, an unexamined mind is a guarantee that life will be a “mind field” of challenge, drama and limitation. Don’t let your mind take charge. Pay attention to your mind’s games. It’s fascinating and freeing to observe and evaluate your life as it is unfolding.
Spiritually: Meditate, contemplate and take the time to become still. One of my teachers, Twylah Nitche, used to say that true mastery of life only comes when we “Enter the Silence” so that the greater truth, peace and love that passes understanding can be ignited. Only then can you walk in the world without being taken prisoner by life’s challenges.
There you have it. Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Four areas of life to choose from. Love your stuck monster. Play with it for as long as it takes to uncover it’s message. As the poet Rumi says, “This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival…. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
