I’ve heard it said that life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.

How true.  James, my late husband, left 92 single spaced pages of ideas and thoughts for his books and poetry. He never lived to see retirement nor get them published.  A school friend signed as a professional football player at 17, and never made it to training camp. His motorcycle slid into a car and he spent the rest of his life as a quadriplegic. Instead of football, he became an engineer, and even drove his own van, operated  by the touch of his finger on the controls! It’s up to us to create happiness from the opportunities we’ve been given.  Rest assured, in the thick of things, it is hard to see beyond the current upset into the potential for growth and happiness. Life isn’t for the fainthearted.

James suffered with life long chronic pain.  When he got past the idea of, “Why me?”  he accepted life as it was and lived a full, productive and happy life – even though he left an unfulfilled dream of being an author. He spent weekends at his writing craft.  James was a writer and he wrote. That was his process and the end result didn’t matter.

My grad school chum and I used to dance together.  He would use his fingers on the joystick of his electric wheelchair to make it move, and I’d dance around him. He told me shortly before he passed away that he had the most amazing life. He confided that his condition was a great gift – a living experience of being loved ‘from the inside out.’ – and he knew himself as a Beloved Child of God.  He lived a happy life.

It’s not what happens to us that determines our happiness and joy.

Happiness is a moment by moment process, not a one time event.

It is up to us to choose happiness.

I like knowing what’s ahead.  I also like to control outcomes! Health challenges, the uncertainty of change, financial, physical, emotional, mental or spiritual pain are signals that something’s afoot. I can attempt to control the outcome of everything and plan my life, but life really plans me. When I decide to consciously choose positive thoughts, I get to emerge victorious!  Some days I play the romantic, the martial artist, entrepreneur or author. Other days the victim, victorious, wise one or fool. They are all facets of my personality. Life is my playground, and I can change thoughts as I please.  When I change those thoughts to ones of loving, compassion, acceptance and gentleness, life gets happy indeed. It’s so much more fun to be happy!

Life is an adventure. Letting go and trusting that all is well, regardless of how it looks on the outside, sometimes comes down to breathing in and out.  They say in 12-step programs that the first step is to say, “God (Higher Power) I can’t, you can, please help.”  That’s great advice for all of us when the going gets tough.

Here’s your challenge for the week: Drop the story of why your life is or isn’t what you want and love yourself happy.  If not how, when?