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Sep 25, 2011

Angel with a Cowboy Hat

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Angels come in all shapes and sizes.  This week an unlikely angel with a white cowboy hat showed up at the Calgary Airport.  My friend and radio talk show host Debbi Dachinger and I landed and found out that our ride had gotten side tracked with a flat tire. After we worked our way through immigration, our angel approached us in the concourse.  With ease and grace he answered our questions with a big smile and an even bigger heart.

The moral of this story:  angels are all around us.  All we need to do is breathe when the flat tires of life happen, open up, and watch the miracles occur.

It’s all good.  And when stress comes nipping at your heals, expect an angel to be close behind.

 

Filed Under: Frustration, Stress management ·
Jul 24, 2011

How to Turn Stuck Moments into Successful Momentum

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Magic moment are the flip side of feeling stuck. Everything lines up, you’re in the flow and there’s no doubt that you’ll succeed.  The more attention you pay to your body, mind, emotions and spirit, the easier it will be to handle stress when it comes knocking at your door.

Some days the stuck gremlin wins.  Spend some time getting familiar what triggers your stuck monster.  Experience is the best teacher. Let your gremlin show you how to disarm it.  Turn stuckness into successful momentum with the following tips:

Don’t judge the situation! Get curious. Examine your body, emotions, thoughts and your interpretation of what is happening to you. Look at your body/mind/emotions/spirit as your inner team.  Spend time in honest communication with yourself.  This is the essence of the “inner game” that aligns and powers up your confidence.

Physically:  Identify one thing that you’ve been putting off. Begin taking action. Get busy and clear away the old.  Clean out your closet, apply for a job, just get physical.  The more you release physical energy, the more likely it is for something new to arrive. Every small completion opens the door for more energy and clarity to fill the empty space.

Emotionally: Identify the fears, fantasies and feelings that stop you before you get started.  Breathe.  The three “F’s” have one job:  To protect you.  That’s wonderful.  However, often they are protecting you from something deeply buried.  Many of my clients often  hold an unconscious interpretation of life taken from past experience. Once identified, it loses it power to keep you stuck.

Are you resisting?  Feel paralyzed, unable to take action?  Chances are your protective mechanism is in full swing! Take small actions and continue moving forward.  How?  Recognize that feelings are not facts.  They are thoughts felt physiologically in the body.  Focus on loving yourself with every step you take.  Allow yourself to just sit with your feelings.  This isn’t always easy!  That’s why when we are upset, we distract ourselves with relationships, spending, eating or drinking too much.

Mentally: Observe what your mind is saying.  The mind says lots of things, many of which have nothing to do with current reality.  In fact, an unexamined mind is a guarantee that life will be a “mind field” of challenge, drama and limitation. Don’t let your mind take charge.  Pay attention to your mind’s games. It’s fascinating and freeing to observe and evaluate your life as it is unfolding.

Spiritually:  Meditate, contemplate and take the time to become still.  One of my teachers, Twylah Nitche, used to say that true mastery of life only comes when we “Enter the Silence” so that the greater truth, peace and love that passes understanding can be ignited.  Only then can you walk in the world without being taken prisoner by life’s challenges.

There you have it. Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.  Four areas of life to choose from.   Love your stuck monster. Play with it for as long as it takes to uncover it’s message.  As the poet Rumi says, “This being human is a guest house.  Every morning a new arrival…. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Changing Thoughts, Frustration, Mastery, Stress management · Tagged: , , , ,
Oct 13, 2010

Got Personal Power?

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There are three simple keys that create a foundation for personal power.

They are my W.I.N. formula for helping your dreams come true.

Key # 1:  Win in Your Dreams.

•  If your dream is genuine, you’ll find yourself returning to it again and again.

It’s okay if you’re not there! The mistakes and failures are all part of the process.

Every great dream begins with a simple thought. An architect draws plan before she builds. Your “fantasy” sets the stage for your reality.

•  The mind can’t tell the difference between real and imagined, so choose your thoughts wisely.

After my husband passed way, it was difficult to imagine another relationship. I did know, however, what I wanted in a relationship. I wrote it down, creating an “ideal scene.”  I added “For the highest good of all concerned” and let it go.  Fast forward. I met and married another man who was a dream come true. He was everything I’d asked for and so much more….

•  The bigger your dreams, the less likely you’ll know how to get where you are going.

Baby steps are enough. Complete each step as it appears. That completion will open the door for your next step to appear. Forget figuring out how something will show up.   In my case, I met my husband to be when I almost ran him over!

Obstacles: A focus on the past, fear, unable to let go of control, won’t invest in yourself, thinking you need to do everything yourself, rigid ideas of how things should look.

•  Remember that obstacles are not always what they seem, and attitude is everything.

Key #2:  Impeccable Integrity. You are your word. Be impeccable. Let your yes be yes, and your no be no. Don’t be afraid to choose a direction however, and then shift it as you get feedback.  Yes and no are not carved in stone.  They are there to serve you.

•  When you commit to something, pay attention to your intuition. Notice the subtle feelings and thoughts that emerge. They contain valuable information.

I know someone who got married to a woman when every cell in his body screamed “no.”  I asked why he was going he was marrying her. He replied, “I don’t want to disappoint her.  She has her dress and the shower gifts.”  That marriage lasted less than a month.  Be truthful with yourself first. It will save you heartache later. At this point in my life, when I say yes to something, I also add, “health and schedule permitting.”

Obstacles: Needing approval, making other people more important than your intuitive knowing, needing to look good, inability to take calculated risks.

•  Make paying attention to your thoughts, lightening up, and taking care of yourself a priority.

Key #3:  Neutral Noticing. Cultivate the habit of noticing everything around you and in you.  This quality of conscious observation activates your inner guidance system.

•  When we let go of expectations of how things should be, our ability to be clear and intuitive grows.

Heightened awareness allows us to notice opportunities where others see only setbacks.  The mind must be trained to observe without judgment so that the heart is free to direct us from that inner knowing.

Add these steps together, and you have a first class method for manifesting your life the way you want it.

Obstacles: Judgments of others, self and rigid expectations of what is expected.

•  Flexibility and a sense of humor are antidotes!

I’ve used these three keys for almost 20 years. They are simple, not always easy to remember. Explore them, find what fits, and most importantly use them!

Here’s to your dreams.

Filed Under: Communication, Goal setting, Stress management · Tagged: , , , ,
Mar 17, 2010

St. Patrick and the ANTS

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Most of us know that St. Patrick is credited for driving the snakes out of Ireland.  St. Patrick is also my hero.

Maybe it has something to do with being born on St. Patrick’s Day, or perhaps the amazing story (some say legend) of how he was captured into slavery and taken from Britain to Ireland, spent years oppressed by his masters, escaped as a result of listening to God’s inner direction, and ultimately went back to help the Irish.  It’s the stuff of fantasy, triumph, despair and determination.

He overcame almost insurmountable odds to be become a priest and then later a bishop.  He risked being disowned by his wealthy parents, almost certain death when he returned to face his captors, and later persecution by the Church for his unorthodox hands on approach and ministry. St. Patrick persevered in spite of the prevailing ANTS of his time, both his own and others! The snakes may be long gone from Ireland, but those ANTs are still alive and well.

Fast forward from old world Ireland to New Jersey. My sister called yesterday and mentioned she’d had an unrelenting toothache for several months. I took her through a Bridge Process™ (pardon the pun) to help her identify the issues being represented by her aching tooth.  As she got in touch with her answer, she laughed and said it was the ANTS at work!  “What do you mean?” I asked.  She giggled as the pain had already diminished, and said, it’s my automatic negative thoughts.  She asked me if I had heard of Dr. Amen and his PBS series. Actually I hadn’t seen the series, nor read his books (they’re on my list), but I’d referred a client to him. He’s a brilliant psychiatrist, whose cutting edge research is changing how we look at brain dysfunction and aging.  See more at Change your Brain and Change your Life.

Our ANTs are alive and well. They are so ingrained that most folks never notice them.  ANTS are toxic to our health. Science proves it and I’ve experienced it first hand! Left unchecked they stop us in our tracks and keep us from expressing our brilliance. Continue eating daily doses of ANT food, and you will find your health and relationships at risk.

What can we do to banish ANTS in our life?  A lot.  Pay attention to those negative thoughts!  Set an intention to pay attention to how you feel, notice what thoughts trigger your upset, and begin to build a bridge to your own inner wisdom and brilliance. Relinquish the ANT food story you tell yourself:  judgments, blame, shame, guilt, anger resentment, etc. and you are sure to experience far greater health, fantastic relationships, increased abundance and joy.

As the Irish say, “You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your father was.” Let’s drop those ANTS today, because everyday is a great day to PLANT (Place Loving And Nice Thoughts) for ourselves and others.  It takes nothing less to become our own visionary leader and a leader in the lives of those we touch.

Filed Under: Leadership, Stress management, Vision · Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Mar 12, 2010

Leadership & Life: the ABC’s of Decision Making

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The ABC’s that come to mind are:  Always Be Conscious

Always, and in all ways, pay attention to your body’s feedback.  While our mind is fantastic at thinking, the heart and the body frequently know things that are beyond our conscious recognition.  Have you ever made an appointment with a doctor, to find out that you actually needed to see him/her when your appointment showed up?  Just recently I had an appointment with my physician that had been made six weeks earlier.  Lo and behold, the day before my appointment, I found out I really needed it.  I was really glad to get in for that exam – especially since he is usually booked two months in advance.

Then again, there are the times I’ve heard (usually more than once) to make an appointment for X, call Y, or do something else specific.  Because there was no apparent “need” I’ve put it off and paid the consequences.  ALWAYS pay attention to the little things that appear more than once. Generally when you inwardly have a recurring thought, there is a good chance that you need to follow up.  This is your inner compass.  Have fun with it, learn to trust it, and you will find life’s decisions easier to make.

Be yourself.  No need to impress another, or get their approval.  When you pay attention to your own inner guidance system (INS) you will find the guidance available to make tough decisions.  They may not be popular, but they will ultimately be the best one for you.  March to your own drummer.  Tune in so you can turn on to the amazing melody called you!

Conscious.  Always be conscious of your intuition and notice when you lose your center.  If you find yourself fuzzy, unable to make a clear decision, or wanting someone else to take responsibility for your choice, be aware that this is a red flag that your “life is in session – and lessons are at hand.” Often times, you are running an expectation toward what you want, what someone else wants, or what you think you (or they) want.  There are even times when others will give you advice that is unconsciously designed to put you in their debt. TRUST YOURSELF. Ultimately, every choice has its consequences.  Find the path that leave you feeling most at peace, and chances are you have found your personal “road less traveled.”

How that you’ve learned your ABC’s here’s the DEF’s.

Decide what works best for you. Try it out.

Evaluate the results.

Follow through with adjustments as needed.

Good luck with your ABC’s and DEF’s.  They do get easier with practice.

A good friend, business mentor, or coach can help you get clear when the going gets muddy.  Don’t forget that even with our ABC’s in place, we all sometimes need a mirror to see our reflection.

Filed Under: Life coaching, Peak Performance, Self Awareness, Stress management · Tagged: , , , ,