Archive for Self Awareness
Ask for Help
Posted by: | CommentsIf I were to look at the hours I spend figuring new stuff out, I would find I’m into deficit spending of my time! That’s where learning to ask for help can help make the difference on many levels.
My lovely ego says, I should be able to figure things out. It parades itself like a child in a Halloween costume, hoping to impress or scare someone into murmurings of approval for having done something grand.
If only life worked that way. But it doesn’t. When I get real and realize that if I ask the right question to the right person, they can help me solve my challenge in a flash. Take this blog for example. For months I’ve not been able to accept comments. My virtual assistant hasn’t figured it out yet, nor my other wordpress savvy friends. The wordpress forum suggestions don’t work either.
If I’m to stay conscious, I need to also pay attention to where I put my life force. Majoring in the minors robs me of the energy and time needed to do what I do best. As business owners, and owners of our life force, we need to keep our hand on the pulse of our business (or life) so that we can make responsible decisions. Other times, it’s best to delegate. Only you know what works best for you.
When in doubt, set aside the ego and ask for help. Which exactly why I’m going to close this blog post and do just that.
Where are you holding onto the thought that you “should” be able to figure something out? Invest in yourself and save your energy for something you love to do. You’ll be a lot happier….I know I will.
Are you Alive?
Posted by: | CommentsDo you wake up on Monday mornings with dread? Is it another day of the same old same old…
Here’s a challenge to help you bridge the gap to brilliance:
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs.
Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then do that.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
Harold Thurman (1899-1981), American author, theologian, philosopher, educator, civil rights leader
It’s never too late to come alive to your joy. Make the time to ask and answer that question and watch the magic unfold.
Loving yourself Happy
Posted by: | CommentsI’ve heard it said that life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.
How true. James, my late husband, left 92 single spaced pages of ideas and thoughts for his books and poetry. He never lived to see retirement nor get them published. A school friend signed as a professional football player at 17, and never made it to training camp. His motorcycle slid into a car and he spent the rest of his life as a quadriplegic. Instead of football, he became an engineer, and even drove his own van, operated by the touch of his finger on the controls! It’s up to us to create happiness from the opportunities we’ve been given. Rest assured, in the thick of things, it is hard to see beyond the current upset into the potential for growth and happiness. Life isn’t for the fainthearted.
James suffered with life long chronic pain. When he got past the idea of, “Why me?” he accepted life as it was and lived a full, productive and happy life – even though he left an unfulfilled dream of being an author. He spent weekends at his writing craft. James was a writer and he wrote. That was his process and the end result didn’t matter.
My grad school chum and I used to dance together. He would use his fingers on the joystick of his electric wheelchair to make it move, and I’d dance around him. He told me shortly before he passed away that he had the most amazing life. He confided that his condition was a great gift – a living experience of being loved ‘from the inside out.’ – and he knew himself as a Beloved Child of God. He lived a happy life.
It’s not what happens to us that determines our happiness and joy.
Happiness is a moment by moment process, not a one time event.
It is up to us to choose happiness.
I like knowing what’s ahead. I also like to control outcomes! Health challenges, the uncertainty of change, financial, physical, emotional, mental or spiritual pain are signals that something’s afoot. I can attempt to control the outcome of everything and plan my life, but life really plans me. When I decide to consciously choose positive thoughts, I get to emerge victorious! Some days I play the romantic, the martial artist, entrepreneur or author. Other days the victim, victorious, wise one or fool. They are all facets of my personality. Life is my playground, and I can change thoughts as I please. When I change those thoughts to ones of loving, compassion, acceptance and gentleness, life gets happy indeed. It’s so much more fun to be happy!
Life is an adventure. Letting go and trusting that all is well, regardless of how it looks on the outside, sometimes comes down to breathing in and out. They say in 12-step programs that the first step is to say, “God (Higher Power) I can’t, you can, please help.” That’s great advice for all of us when the going gets tough.
Here’s your challenge for the week: Drop the story of why your life is or isn’t what you want and love yourself happy. If not how, when?
St. Patrick and the ANTS
Posted by: | CommentsMost of us know that St. Patrick is credited for driving the snakes out of Ireland. St. Patrick is also my hero.
Maybe it has something to do with being born o
n St. Patrick’s Day, or perhaps the amazing story (some say legend) of how he was captured into slavery and taken from Britain to Ireland, spent years oppressed by his masters, escaped as a result of listening to God’s inner direction, and ultimately went back to help the Irish. It’s the stuff of fantasy, triumph, despair and determination.
He overcame almost insurmountable odds to be become a priest and then later a bishop. He risked being disowned by his wealthy parents, almost certain death when he returned to face his captors, and later persecution by the Church for his unorthodox hands on approach and ministry. St. Patrick persevered in spite of the prevailing ANTS of his time, both his own and others! The snakes may be long gone from Ireland, but those ANTs are still alive and well.
Fast forward from old world Ireland to New Jersey. My sister called yesterday and mentioned she’d had an unrelenting toothache for several months. I took her through a Bridge Process™ (pardon the pun) to help her identify the issues being represented by her aching tooth. As she got in touch with her answer, she laughed and said it was the ANTS at work! “What do you mean?” I asked. She giggled as the pain had already diminished, and said, it’s my automatic negative thoughts. She asked me if I had heard of Dr. Amen and his PBS series. Actually I hadn’t seen the series, nor read his books (they’re on my list), but I’d referred a client to him. He’s a brilliant psychiatrist, whose cutting edge research is changing how we look at brain dysfunction and aging. See more at Change your Brain and Change your Life.
Our ANTs are alive and well. They are so ingrained that most folks never notice them. ANTS are toxic to our health. Science proves it and I’ve experienced it first hand! Left unchecked they stop us in our tracks and keep us from expressing our brilliance. Continue eating daily doses of ANT food, and you will find your health and relationships at risk.
What can we do to banish ANTS in our life? A lot. Pay attention to those negative thoughts! Set an intention to pay attention to how you feel, notice what thoughts trigger your upset, and begin to build a bridge to your own inner wisdom and brilliance. Relinquish the ANT food story you tell yourself: judgments, blame, shame, guilt, anger resentment, etc. and you are sure to experience far greater health, fantastic relationships, increased abundance and joy.
As the Irish say, “You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your father was.” Let’s drop those ANTS today, because everyday is a great day to PLANT (Place Loving And Nice Thoughts) for ourselves and others. It takes nothing less to become our own visionary leader and a leader in the lives of those we touch.
Leadership & Life: the ABC’s of Decision Making
Posted by: | CommentsThe ABC’s that come to mind are: Always Be Conscious
Always, and in all ways, pay attention to your body’s feedback. While our mind is fantastic at thinking, the heart and the body frequently know things that are beyond our conscious recognition. Have you ever made an appointment with a doctor, to find out that you actually needed to see him/her when your appointment showed up? Just recently I had an appointment with my physician that had been made six weeks earlier. Lo and behold, the day before my appointment, I found out I really needed it. I was really glad to get in for that exam – especially since he is usually booked two months in advance.
Then again, there are the times I’ve heard (usually more than once) to make an appointment for X, call Y, or do something else specific. Because there was no apparent “need” I’ve put it off and paid the consequences. ALWAYS pay attention to the little things that appear more than once. Generally when you inwardly have a recurring thought, there is a good chance that you need to follow up. This is your inner compass. Have fun with it, learn to trust it, and you will find life’s decisions easier to make.
Be yourself. No need to impress another, or get their approval. When you pay attention to your own inner guidance system (INS) you will find the guidance available to make tough decisions. They may not be popular, but they will ultimately be the best one for you. March to your own drummer. Tune in so you can turn on to the amazing melody called you!
Conscious. Always be conscious of your intuition and notice when you lose your center. If you find yourself fuzzy, unable to make a clear decision, or wanting someone else to take responsibility for your choice, be aware that this is a red flag that your “life is in session – and lessons are at hand.” Often times, you are running an expectation toward what you want, what someone else wants, or what you think you (or they) want. There are even times when others will give you advice that is unconsciously designed to put you in their debt. TRUST YOURSELF. Ultimately, every choice has its consequences. Find the path that leave you feeling most at peace, and chances are you have found your personal “road less traveled.”
How that you’ve learned your ABC’s here’s the DEF’s.
Decide what works best for you. Try it out.
Evaluate the results.
Follow through with adjustments as needed.
Good luck with your ABC’s and DEF’s. They do get easier with practice.
A good friend, business mentor, or coach can help you get clear when the going gets muddy. Don’t forget that even with our ABC’s in place, we all sometimes need a mirror to see our reflection.
