Archive for Relationship
What is on the way to my future?
Posted by: | CommentsMany thanks to Zanish, who wrote me with the question, “What is on my way to future career and marriage relationship?”
I expect every one of us, sooner or later, has this secret question emerge from the depths of our being.
Here’s the reply.
Ultimately, is up to you to decide what you would prefer
to have in your future.
While there are times in life where things
don’t go the way we want them to go, we gather power when we
can accept that “what is, is.”
Being upset that we don’t have what we
say we want creates pain.
We build our future in the present moment.
Every action we take, every thought we have, every judgment or
kindness impacts our future.
Keeping our eyes on those things that are good, kind, and
uplifting helps strengthen us as we grow into the very relationships
and jobs we desire.
If I tell you your future,
then I rob you of the beauty of your discovery.
Your life is a precious
gem that belongs to you.
The wonder and awe that comes from choosing the life you want, the job or career
that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning, and the relationship
that feeds your soul come when you do your own inner work first.
The world is a mirror, and what we attract to us reflects much about
what we believe we deserve. As we learn to listen with the ears of the heart,
we learn what is important for us.
The best thing I can say is for you to spend time looking, listening and following the
clues that your heart gives you. Discover what
makes your heart sing, and then let that song lead you into the life
you want.
Like attracts like.
If you want peace, practice peace.
If you want caring, practice caring.
If you want love, be loving.
Thanks for being on the call.
Warmest regards,
Lin
Friend-Power
Posted by: | CommentsFriends are the stuff of life. Good friends are solid gold. They tell you the truth you don’t want to hear, and just know when you’re in need. Many of us have other friends who suck our energy and drain us with their neediness.
I’m blessed with friends who show up in the most amazing ways. They offer their gifts, kindness, honesty, and playfulness. They offer their time. That is priceless!
Let’s face it, we are wired for connection. We may think we can do it ourselves. Maybe we can. But life is so much sweeter when the joys and sorrows are shared.
Don’t have a close friend around? Become your own best friend. Lift, inspire, and support yourself in every way possible. Then share that with others.
You will automatically begin to attract people that lift, inspire, and support you. You may be surprised to find your energy higher, your smile wider, and life sweeter.
Oh, and those negative friends, they will likely disappear.
What if you Died Tomorrow?
Posted by: | CommentsWould you be fulfilled?
If not now, when?
You hate your job/career and suffer every moment. Your parents wanted you to be a doctor. You wanted to be a musician. It wasn’t logical nor would it make money, so you opted to be a doctor. Your parent’s wishes fulfilled, you do your time until retirement. Finally you are free to respectably begin living your dream. But life had different plans, and instead you have a heart attack and stroke – at the same time!
Your friend calls to say they are suicidal and want to kill themselves. Half listening, you tell then you’ll stop by and see them tomorrow. (They did what they said they’d do before you got there.)
You give and give and give, and never allow anyone to give back. (You get to stay in control, but do you let yourself receive love unconditionally?)
You’re afraid you will be ridiculed when you share your idea/dream/goal. You do nothing. (The one who did it anyway goes home with the cash.)
Would you be fulfilled if you died tomorrow?
The clock is ticking, and we really don’t know when “the bell will toll for us.”
Live every day as though it and you are precious. You are.
Mix life with love. Tell people you love them – a lot. Add laughter. It makes life more fun.
Why wait until you lose weight, gain weight, get married, get divorced, take that class, get that award….
You might never get a second chance.
The choice is yours. Life life now. There really is no tomorrow.
The Cat who Loved me
Posted by: | CommentsIt’s been a long time since I wrote anything, although I’ve had lots of topics in mind. My dear cat Nubie (Nubs for short) passed away two weeks ago after a long illness….most of my time was spent sitting with him every chance I got. Work took a back seat whenever possible, so that I could be present during his journey. What a ride it was! He taught me more about love than I can say in a blog. But here’s a few highlights:
1. Why celebrate loving one day a year? Make time for your loved ones now. Nubie was petted, combed, played with and adored every day. On special occasions he got catnip. That’s a great way to keep a relationship healthy. He wasn’t afraid to wake me up with a paw under the covers to let me know he needed something (usually food). He also cuddled and knew when I was upset. That’s a great thing for two-legged relationships as well. Pay attention to your loved ones while you have them. Keep your relationship alive with appreciation, good food, laughter and some special treats. I didn’t wait for him to get sick before he knew he was loved. Our relationship changed when he got ill, and our loving deepened. We had a strong foundation of trust, built on years of understanding, loving, caring and sharing.
2. Sometimes loving appears to hurt. Watching my cat decline physically left me feeling helpless. Thank goodness I was bi-lingual and could understand cat. He too, could understand human. Love allowed us to communicate just fine. Men and women sometimes speak different languages. Love allows us to intuitively understand each other, if we take the time to listen. Sometimes all our loved one needs is the space to be heard, held and acknowledged. Sometimes they need time alone. Don’t take things so personally. Those things go a long way toward building a successful relationship. So does a genuine “I’m sorry.”
3. Loving someone means accepting everything, including death. I was honored to be part of my cat’s process. As his body grew weaker, his Spirit grew stronger and his messages to me, his beloved human, grew stronger as well. Loving made it easy for me to tend to him during his last days, and he died at home, loved, accepted and cherished, in spite of his appearance (it was pretty tacky.)
4. Love is contagious. Mr. Nubs touched so many people during his life that our friends called frequently to say hello and tell him it was “okay to go.” I put the phone to his ears and he’d perk up when he heard their voices. His favorite neighbor, whom he referred to as “The big guy over there” came regularly to visit, as did the big guy’s wife. Countless people were touched as Nubs completed his mission – to love people and encourage them to open their heart in return. He was a healer cat, and he had a following. Let loving be the healer and you’ll have a following too. Practice making loving your default response, and you’ll be in good shape, no matter the shape you’re in.
5. Nubie taught me the value of sitting in the silence with him. He’d curl up on my lap and we’d meditate together. We also watched movies for hours on end, since his pain was less when he was held. It’s the same for people. Don’t be afraid of the silence, it’s a container for loving. Don’t be afraid of pain either.
6. Nubs was a great mirror. During his illness, he kept showing me things about myself. What a master teacher he was. In the end, he taught me to be free. What a gift to give to the one you love. It was a hard journey for both of us, but he’s free and so am I. Free to celebrate our life together, and free to choose to love again.
7. Because your loved ones may go away does mean that love ends. Love lives in my heart, and gratitude for the loving expression that was lent to me in the form of my cat lives on in me. I won’t rush to replace Nubie. He’s irreplaceable. There will never be another Nubs. Yet, when loving calls again, I will answer, and be the richer for it.
This Holiday: The Other Side of Celebration & Relationship
Posted by: | CommentsIt’s the holiday season, and for millions, it is both a joyous celebration and a reminder of things lost: financial security, loved ones, jobs, homes, hopes, dreams and innocence. This season, like no other in recent history, grips the hearts of many with a sorrow carried on the winds of change.
There is another way though…to follow a road less traveled this Season, This road will get you to the other side of loss. I know because I am no stranger to that road. For good or bad, I have traveled it many times. What lies at the destination is nothing less than a new landscape and a new beginning. It is inevitable that spring follows winter. That is a cause for celebration.
What does this have to do with relationship? Everything! It requires that you truthfully relate to your own self: your hurts, angers, resentments, longings and loss. It requires that you acknowledge what you are experiencing to yourself and others. Not easy, given that we are taught to suck it up, move on, take tranquilizers, and swallow both our emotions and the well meaning platitudes that “He or she is in a better place,” or “You’ll find a better job,” and other comments that say more about the other person’s fear than your loss. That’s human nature.
The price of loving is loss. Sometimes we give our all to a cause, a person, a job or our calling. Sometimes there are no happy endings, except as we rewrite them. Grief and loss are by-products of life. They are not to be feared, but merely faced as they arise.
Ironically, when we hone the skill of self-reflection, observation and intuition, we learn to by-pass those roads that lead directly to grief. Sometimes, unnecessary grief arises simply because we have not listened to our inner council. We compound that by putting our grief in the closet and pretending it doesn’t exist. Even that can be cause for celebration when we learn the pitfalls of ignoring our own heart and wisdom.
I offer these observations to you, knowing there is cause for celebration in the midst of uncertainty and loss. Perhaps the gift you give this season is that of allowing you to experience whatever is present as it appears. Let your thoughts, feelings and emotions be cause for celebration. They are the signposts on the road less traveled. To celebrate means “to make known or famous.” Celebrate your life and the adventure of relationship. Breathe, stop and honor your life and your loss as you prepare the soil for something new. That is the miracle of relation and celebration.
You are the gift. Choose to take the road less traveled, and leave loss by the wayside. Develop a great relationship witn yourself regardless of the season and you will soon be ready to love again, begin again and risk again. Walk your road one step at a time and a new season of celebration will arrive.
