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Sep 25, 2011

Angel with a Cowboy Hat

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Angels come in all shapes and sizes.  This week an unlikely angel with a white cowboy hat showed up at the Calgary Airport.  My friend and radio talk show host Debbi Dachinger and I landed and found out that our ride had gotten side tracked with a flat tire. After we worked our way through immigration, our angel approached us in the concourse.  With ease and grace he answered our questions with a big smile and an even bigger heart.

The moral of this story:  angels are all around us.  All we need to do is breathe when the flat tires of life happen, open up, and watch the miracles occur.

It’s all good.  And when stress comes nipping at your heals, expect an angel to be close behind.

 

Filed Under: Frustration, Stress management ·
Jul 24, 2011

How to Turn Stuck Moments into Successful Momentum

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Magic moment are the flip side of feeling stuck. Everything lines up, you’re in the flow and there’s no doubt that you’ll succeed.  The more attention you pay to your body, mind, emotions and spirit, the easier it will be to handle stress when it comes knocking at your door.

Some days the stuck gremlin wins.  Spend some time getting familiar what triggers your stuck monster.  Experience is the best teacher. Let your gremlin show you how to disarm it.  Turn stuckness into successful momentum with the following tips:

Don’t judge the situation! Get curious. Examine your body, emotions, thoughts and your interpretation of what is happening to you. Look at your body/mind/emotions/spirit as your inner team.  Spend time in honest communication with yourself.  This is the essence of the “inner game” that aligns and powers up your confidence.

Physically:  Identify one thing that you’ve been putting off. Begin taking action. Get busy and clear away the old.  Clean out your closet, apply for a job, just get physical.  The more you release physical energy, the more likely it is for something new to arrive. Every small completion opens the door for more energy and clarity to fill the empty space.

Emotionally: Identify the fears, fantasies and feelings that stop you before you get started.  Breathe.  The three “F’s” have one job:  To protect you.  That’s wonderful.  However, often they are protecting you from something deeply buried.  Many of my clients often  hold an unconscious interpretation of life taken from past experience. Once identified, it loses it power to keep you stuck.

Are you resisting?  Feel paralyzed, unable to take action?  Chances are your protective mechanism is in full swing! Take small actions and continue moving forward.  How?  Recognize that feelings are not facts.  They are thoughts felt physiologically in the body.  Focus on loving yourself with every step you take.  Allow yourself to just sit with your feelings.  This isn’t always easy!  That’s why when we are upset, we distract ourselves with relationships, spending, eating or drinking too much.

Mentally: Observe what your mind is saying.  The mind says lots of things, many of which have nothing to do with current reality.  In fact, an unexamined mind is a guarantee that life will be a “mind field” of challenge, drama and limitation. Don’t let your mind take charge.  Pay attention to your mind’s games. It’s fascinating and freeing to observe and evaluate your life as it is unfolding.

Spiritually:  Meditate, contemplate and take the time to become still.  One of my teachers, Twylah Nitche, used to say that true mastery of life only comes when we “Enter the Silence” so that the greater truth, peace and love that passes understanding can be ignited.  Only then can you walk in the world without being taken prisoner by life’s challenges.

There you have it. Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.  Four areas of life to choose from.   Love your stuck monster. Play with it for as long as it takes to uncover it’s message.  As the poet Rumi says, “This being human is a guest house.  Every morning a new arrival…. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Changing Thoughts, Frustration, Mastery, Stress management · Tagged: , , , ,
May 16, 2010

Ask for Help

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If I were to look at the hours I spend figuring new stuff out, I would find I’m into deficit spending of my time! That’s where learning to ask for help can help make the difference on many levels.

My lovely ego says, I should be able to figure things out. It parades itself like a child in a Halloween costume, hoping to impress or scare someone into murmurings of approval for having done something grand.

If only life worked that way. But it doesn’t. When I get real and realize that if I ask the right question to the right person, they can help me solve my challenge in a flash. Take this blog for example. For months I’ve not been able to accept comments. My virtual assistant hasn’t figured it out yet, nor my other wordpress savvy friends. The wordpress forum suggestions don’t work either.

If I’m to stay conscious, I need to also pay attention to where I put my life force. Majoring in the minors robs me of the energy and time needed to do what I do best. As business owners, and owners of our life force, we need to keep our hand on the pulse of our business (or life) so that we can make responsible decisions. Other times, it’s best to delegate. Only you know what works best for you.

When in doubt, set aside the ego and ask for help. Which exactly why I’m going to close this blog post and do just that.

Where are you holding onto the thought that you “should” be able to figure something out? Invest in yourself and save your energy for something you love to do. You’ll be a lot happier….I know I will.

Filed Under: Frustration, Peak Performance, Self Awareness ·
May 30, 2009

Chaos, the World & You

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Chaos is a constant companion to a lot of people right now. Job-loss, health challenges, fires, earthquakes, pending heart transplants are only a few things I’ve heard about recently. The business world mirrors chaos on a huge scale as ineffective systems break down, exposing scandals, greed, and dishonesty. Household names are on the brink of extinction.

There were times when I couldn’t see a way out or through my predicament: closing on a house and losing my job the following day; my husband’s dying when his ultralight crashed; my retreat center burning down. Those weren’t exactly part of my life’s goals. None the less, my life changed. Like it or not, it was what it was. I could either accept my chaotic situation or resist.

My responses opened the door to a re-organization of my life. Our world and the human race are what science calls open systems. A characteristic of an open system is that they no longer function properly when faced with overwhelm. Eventually, the old system will collapse or re-order itself into a higher level of functioning. The result is a new you. In short, we are born again into something completely different from the old.

Here are a few tips that allowed me to let go of resistance. They got me through to the other side of letting go, and I expect they might help you too.

1. Accept. Forget blame, shame, shoulds or coulds. Just pick yourself up. Lose the complaining and look for your next step.

2. Let go of the excuses as to “why” things are as they are. Look at what you need to do to break down the excuses and move in spite of them.

3. Recognize that overwhelm is a natural by product of the chaos that proceeds growth. Breathe. Acknowledge what you have. Find something to be grateful for.

4. Know that no matter how dark it seems, chaos is a precursor of growth and new beginnings. I am reminded that a good gardener prunes back her plants to maximize new growth. Looking at setbacks as opportunities keeps your attitude and action positive.

5. Be willing to trust yourself to take your next step, even if it is to “sit and do nothing.” There is a time to move forward, a time to be still, and a time to retreat. Wisdom and practice will help you flow with the correct choice. Don’t be so quick to judge. Wait and see. Be patient.

6. Reach out to others. Sooner or later, we all need help. Sometimes a listening ear is worth its weight in gold.

I love the thought that I am an open system and connected to a universal flow that encompasses all life. Ilya Prigogine, a Nobel Prize winning chemist, first described open systems during his exploration of thermodynamics.

Every open system loses energy, which is dissipated into the environment. When its ability to discharge can’t keep up with the input, it begins to break down. Ironically, Prigogine’s words are similar to those of the Seneca Native Americans. The Seneca state that “stress is the genetic energy for change.” Seneca or scientist, it’s all the same. When things break down, there is a good chance there will real breakthrough.

So lighten up, breathe, forgive, and have some fun. If you know you are in the midst of chaos, rest assured it won’t last forever.

If you want to learn more about chaos and the human mind, check out Thresholds of the Mind by Bill Harris, founder of Centerpoint. I highly recommend it!

Filed Under: Chaos, Frustration ·
May 15, 2009

Yarn with an Attitude

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Have you noticed that it’s crazy out there in the world these days? Thank goodness I don’t often dwell on the negative news that we’re fed. The last few days, I’ve had enough of my own inner mental chatter to fill all the tabloids and then some. While I don’t have a lot of control over what stories the media covers, I can choose what I read, and when I read it.

It’s the same with my mind. I get to choose when and what I dwell on. Thank goodness most of the time I can tune out the naysayers that live inside my head. Some days it is easier than others to pick myself up, dust myself off, and find something funny about the situation at hand. Other days it takes commitment. Add a little grace and humor, and the tide will eventually turn in joy’s favor. Breathe in, breathe out, find humor. Let go. Repeat over and over. Remember that eventually things change. Be grateful. Forgive. Look for the lesson. Laugh at myself. Note to file: This (fill in the blank) will eventually pass. Keep breathing. Relax, breathe more, have patience and trust.

Today was one of those days. My feet had no sooner hit the floor than I realized that my mood was in the basement! I didn’t want to work on myself, nor did I feel like forgiving anyone nor anything. It was clear that I needed a break from my inner media channel, so I had a cry (ah, the joy of a good conscious tearing to clean out the pipes), talked with a friend, and set out to do my morning meditation. Instead, I sat down and reached for my crochet needle. I had this really amazing Italian yarn that was just calling to me. It was long and fuzzy and so much more inviting than stilling my unruly mind. Yarn won hands down.

I love when the invisible is made visible. The little fuzzies absolutely refused to cooperate with my well laid plans to ease my way into meditation. It didn’t take long until I realized that my yarn was my meditation! That lovely yarn mirrored my state of mind. In a flash, I knew that I’d copped an attitude with myself around my perceived inability to install a new shopping cart on my (almost brand new soon to be released) website. I saw that the solution to my frustration was really simple! Do one little fuzzie at a time. Give up the lurking self-judgment and enjoy the process.

My yarn mirrored my own attitude, but mercifully I didn’t respond to my yarn the way I’d responded to my shopping cart experience. All I did was focus on each knot as it presented itself, follow the little fuzzies to the source, and untangle them. It was tedious work, but about 20 minutes later I realized that cooperating with my uncooperative yarn put me in a happy state of mind. I’d been fully engaged in the process. That set me free and set me loose to experience an amazing day of breakthroughs.

The day, which began in the basement, ended up in the penthouse. The view is a whole lot better from the top…

Filed Under: Frustration, Self Awareness ·