Dealing with Procrastination

Last night I was a guest on a tele-seminar hosted by Manny Goldman (www.personalgrowth.com)  During the call, a woman asked about how to deal with procrastination. It’s a great question that deserves an answer.

Here’s the thing: everything we do is on purpose, even if that purpose is buried in the deepest part of our psyche. Procrastination is exactly that:  protection from something.  That something frequently occurs when the procrastinator has been humiliated for saying or doing something.

A true friend will “get your back” and keep you safe.  Consider procrastination a protection.  When the need for protection disappears, the issue loses it’s hold.

So, don’t procrastinate – take a moment right now to ask who that someone was, and identify the moment you made a decision to be safe rather than humiliated.

Chances are, the simple awareness will begin to turn the tide.

Good luck, and if you are stuck, don’t despair.  Just keep your eyes open for the clues.  Be kind to yourself, even if others weren’t.

What if you Died Tomorrow?

Would you be fulfilled?

If not now, when?

You hate your job/career and suffer every moment. Your parents wanted you to be a doctor. You wanted to be a musician.  It wasn’t logical nor would it make money, so you opted to be a doctor.  Your parent’s wishes fulfilled, you do your time until retirement.  Finally you are free to respectably begin living your dream. But life had different plans, and instead you have a heart attack and stroke – at the same time!

Your friend calls to say they are suicidal and want to kill themselves. Half listening, you tell then you’ll stop by and see them tomorrow. (They did what they said they’d do before you got there.)

You give and give and give, and never allow anyone to give back. (You get to stay in control, but do you let yourself receive love unconditionally?)

You’re afraid you will be ridiculed when you share your idea/dream/goal.  You do nothing.  (The one who did it anyway goes home with the cash.)

Would you be fulfilled if you died tomorrow?

The clock is ticking, and we really don’t know when “the bell will toll for us.”

Live every day as though it and you are precious.  You are.

Mix life with love. Tell people you love them – a lot.  Add laughter.  It makes life more fun.

Why wait until you lose weight, gain weight, get married, get divorced, take that class, get that award….

You might never get a second chance.

The choice is yours. Life life now. There really is no tomorrow.

Don’t Make it Perfect. Get it Done.

This morning my friend Janet and I went to the local Apple store.  I’ve been a closet Mac lover for years.  I wander into the store, play with them, and convince myself that it’s too much of a learning curve.  You see, I was a victim to my own ”what if I don’t get it” trap.  Today I saw how subtly the need to be perfect was holding me back.  Trouble is, needing to be perfect kept me from choosing a Mac, simply because I knew how to use a PC reasonably well. 

I’d forgotten to trust my own inner guidance and so did nothing except to listen to the “experts.”  Unfortunately the experts frequently have conflicting opinions.  The result: analysis paralysis.  Our comfort zone (paralysis) becomes terminal all too quickly.  We want to move forward, but hold ourselves back because that comfort zone gives us the illusion of safety.  It also keeps us from flowing with change. 

After our foray into Apple Country, we lingered over a luscious breakfast.  Janet vented her frustration at feeling betrayed by the folks she hired to help her get a web presence.  Hundreds of dollars later, she had an e-zine that cost a fortune every time she wanted to send it out.  Worse yet, she had a domain name, a hosting service, and no website!

We were both suffering from perfection-itis and inertia.  I told her it didn’t have to be perfect; her website/blog/e-zine just had to be done.  She’d helped me move through the Mac dilemma, and I in turn was able to tell her how to get a blog up and running right away.  Knowledge was power for both of us.  Knowledge plus action creates immense power.

Have you ever been caught by the not knowing how to do something trap?  We all have.  I didn’t change computer systems because I felt incompetent – not perfect – unable to weigh the pros and cons and wisely choose what I wanted.  She was held hostage because of her fear that her e-zine, blog or website wouldn’t be perfect unless it was done “the way it should be.” That is a huge illusion, since we learn by doing.  If everyone waited to be perfect then inventors would never invent.

The need to do something perfectly is one of the oldest traps that individuals and business’s fall into.  As children, sooner or later we are humiliated because we don’t do something perfectly by someone else’s standards. That experience sets us up with the “I need to do it perfectly” belief.  Thank goodness the cure is action.  Today both Janet and I took risks and actions.  A new Mac and a new blog are just weeks away. 

What do you need to get done right now?  Chances are it doesn’t have to be perfect.  It just has to be done.  Do your homework and make your most intelligent decision.  Feedback from your environment will help you course correct because you will find out what works and what doesn’t work.  Feedback will also help you to continue improving and expanding your competency.

Keep me posted about your breakthroughs. Now get ready, get set, get going!

The Election in Review: A Higher Perspective

Well, a week has passed since our Presidential election and history has been made. Obama is in. McCain is out. For some it is a dream come true, for others their worst nightmare. Regardless of your perspective, we all have an opportunity to reflect, re-evaluate and flow with events as they have unfolded.  Personal preferences not withstanding, there is a gift waiting to be claimed for all of us as a result of this momentous event. It’s up to us to receive or reject the gift.

 

That gift is the ability to rise above what we prefer and move into the kind of cooperation that invites growth and positive change. Any event becomes positive when we choose to respond with “Great, a new adventure.”  Unfortunately for many, our comfort zone, fear and anxiety, coupled with partial truths and the unknown, will distort and magnify our fear. The label we provide to current events is uniquely our own, and mirrors the rest of our life. Today’s media is famous for playing to the shadow side of humanity. Let’s us not do the same.

 

This election is only a microcosm that provides a glimpse into how we do our own life. Charles Dickins said, “It is the best of times, and it is the worst of times.”  It’s no different today than it was when he wrote A Tale of Two Cities.  Today the same truth holds true: it is us who determines whether it is the best or the worst of times.

 

Here’s where reflection and re-evaluation comes into play.

 

First, if you find yourself upset or overly elated as a result of this election, consider the following: every human being has a light and a shadow side. This election is a perfect example of how the light/shadow dynamic plays itself out. Here are a few questions that may give you some insights for consideration.

 

  • Is the upset/elation yours?  Strange as that sounds, we are social creatures, and not immune to what others are feeling and saying. Practice awareness, and you’ll find it reaps dividends.  This holds true for a lot more than the election!

Recognize how you are prone to be swayed, and it will give you a greater freedom to tap into knowing what is right for you in each moment.  Just look at the press: doom and gloom. Remember that in every downturn of the economy, there are still folks who open up, expand and thrive. 

 

  • Do you believe that all your problems will be solved/magnified as a result of a changing of the guard?

Do you look outside yourself for answers or do you trust yourself first and foremost? Shakespeare said, “To thine own self be true…”  That’s nice, except that it takes great courage to be true to your beliefs. Witness all the folks who have complained during this election that their point of view is ridiculed. To them, I would ask, how do you ridicule yourself?  To the folks that felt themselves “in the know about what is best for everyone else” I would ask, are you willing to allow someone to have a differing opinion without calling them evil, misinformed or stupid? These two examples are an example of our shadow side and unconscious belief systems in action. 

 

It’s been said that how you do anything is a microcosm of how you do everything.

 

For or against our candidates and what they represent, ultimately the buck stops within each of us.  What we like or dislike in another is buried within us.  Accept that, and you will find great gems of truth that can propel you beyond ordinary life into extraordinary living. Light or shadow, it’s all part of the mix that makes us us.

 

I’d love to hear your comments!

 

To your brilliance,

Lin

Don’t Worry, Choose Happiness

Life is uncertain. Stocks go up and down, hurricanes hit, and we breathe a sigh of relief that it isn’t us. Or is it? None of us are immune to life’s vissisitudes.  There is great news though. Studies now confirm what spiritual traditions have taught for centuries: happiness is good for your health, relationships and pocketbook!

There are two sure things that can lift your spirits when the worry bug bites. And bite it will. With today’s uncertain political and economic climate, fear and anxiety abound.  Clients throughout the country say the same thing: “I’ve lost xyz amount of my retirement, I can’t sleep, my mind just goes round and round.” 

Those are all valid concerns. Yet, there is a deeper truth here, and it is available for those that rise above the challenge at hand. The choice for happiness may provide the actual momentum needed to help us find creative, innovative, and downright brilliant solutions to our material prediciments.

There is, however,  no guarantee that we will stay happy in our life, other than the committment we make to choose happiness as a response. There are a few things you can do to alleviate the voices in your head that will tell you it isn’t a choice.  The first of these is gratitude, the second is forgiveness. Sometimes it takes a while to get there.

Generally speaking, misery loves company. When worried minds get together, more worry is created. Negative emotions breed like rabbits!  Choose your company wisely. Make a conscious deliberate effort to find something to be grateful for. Gratitude and worry cannot exist in the same space – namely the space between your ears. It may take some creative work to find gratitude for something when the chips are down, but it can be done. Gratitude breeds happiness.

Secondly, forgivess is not something you give the other party whom you perceive has harmed you. It is something that you give yourself.  I expect you have noticed that waiting for someone to say they are sorry for their actions is a long time coming!  Not only that, but I bet the offender hasn’t given their offense a second thought.  You, however, are left with a bruise that can rapidly become a bad attitude.  Forgive, forget (which doesn’t mean set yourself up to be harmed again) and get on with it.

Choose happiness.  It feels better. It’s simple but not so easy a choice.  It’s far simpler to indulge in anger, upset, blame or resentment.  Only you can practice, practice, practice. The reward: a happy heart.

The bottom line: Worry never solved anything. Happiness, on the other hand, is wildy contageous!